Cook's Blog Number 49: Why Eye?

What a brilliant time in Cambodia!  In this series of All Over The Place I co-hosted with Inel, who is now the best Inel I have ever met. 

Everything went smoothly until THE FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING when I woke up feeling queer.  My eye felt fuzzy and I couldn't work out why.  I had a quick glance in the mirror expecting to see my glorious morning self reflected back, however, something VERY DIFFERENT STARED BACK AT ME.

I leaned in closer to the mirror.  My rare beauty was visible as usual but only barely as my view was hampered by A GIANT EYE.  My left eye was so swollen it looked like one of those red bummed baboons had stuck its backside to my face. I stared at my reflection in disbelief as my crazy-massive-bum-eye blinked (painfully) back at me.  I had been bitten during the night.  Not by the hotel receptionist as I initially suspected, but by a mosquito.

After much freaking out it was agreed I would wear sunglasses on camera.  This was perfect as we were shooting outside at a Cambodian sporting festival in a forest.  Wayhey! 

As a natural sportswoman with the long elegant limbs of an Elk I had suspected I would win every sporting fairly easily. However, having no eye (it was completely swollen closed by now) made life tricky. For some reason, I couldn't hear very well either and then there was the small problem of walking into trees (I did it twice).  At lunch I missed my mouth several times.  By the afternoon I felt dismayed, bruised and blind.  It didn't help that Inel was basically the best sportsman I'd EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND THAT INCLUDES MO FARAH.

Luckily the next event would be performed blindfolded! AT LAST AN EQUAL ADVANTAGE! Inel and I would take it in turns whacking a pinata with a stick.  Inel was a natural, he tapped the piñata with the strength of a Gladiator from the film 'Gladiator' and the crowd went wild.  Up next was international one-eyed woman, Victoria Cook. Not only did I completely miss the Pinata but I nearly took out half the audience with my massive stick.  Luckily, they were fairly forgiving and clapped anyway...until I removed the blindfold. There was an audible gasp of horror that erupted throughout the crowd.  A baby wailed and a dog yelped in fright.  An old lady fanning herself with a fan made the sign of the cross.

 

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